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A Madness of Mad Conciousness

Today, after seeing a friend this evening and driving back home, I was in another world. Getting home on my bed, with a series of uncontrollable thoughts running through my head, I closed my eyes. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's one super amazing song blaring into my eardrums, one thought drove through the next and I ended thinking something (I don't remember what it was) about my cell phone and it had me thinking about my contacts and WhatsApp, its privacy settings and then I thought about this friend who I just removed from my Contacts after a friendship of years together. I wondered if he'd be able to see something if I put it up on the profile. I know it sounds like  very drab stream of consciousness thingy but trust me it seemed quite thinkable when I was thinking it. And that's how our thoughts are generally, who re we kidding? So, I think an average person's stream of consciousness is about such trivially trivial matters most of the time. 

Anyway, to cut a long story short, because I m not quite able to make very good flowery sentences right now, I'll tell you what a wonderful thought I had thinking all this phone-y stuff. It was that how wonderful life could be if our memory was just like the cell phone memory. I mean, you have this friend, you have a fight with him, you used to talking with him over WhatsApp which was your only frequent medium of contact, you go to your phone and delete that contact from your contacts and poof! that person is gone from your phone forever (unless of course you add them back). Your phone doesn't recognise them. They are anonymous to your phone. Never seen of the number, never heard of it. Entirely a stranger. Your phone is clear of all the memories. All of them. The person is gone from your phone's universe. All it takes is a delete option and OK.

However, it doesn't mean that you are gone from theirs. you are still there in their universe ( read: WhatsApp favourites list), just blank. and unavailable and silent (read: stonewalling them)

I wish it was the same with life. You press delete and they're gone from your universe. You have no memories of them and they're gone as if they never were. However, you stay right in the. Blank, quiet, and unavailable. A face behind the veil. How great would it be?

Okay, it doesn't sound very smart or extraordinary right now but trust me it sounded like I had theorised something like Socrates would have, when I was thinking of this analogy. It sounds a little drab right now, but it wouldn't if you thought like I did. 

Nevertheless, as I write it right now, I get struck about another thing. Doesn't this happen in our lives already? Somebody just throws you off your memory, just like that. There is an automatic delete button, albeit a little delayed than the quickness of our phones. It deletes everything, too. 

And it isn't necessary that it has to be you who is in someone's universe without them being in yours. It could be the other way round too. It might be them who stay in your universe, unavailable and blank while you are already gone from theirs. They could be the ones to press delete. And they might be quicker than you. Voluntarily. 

PS: Well, if this sounds some real rambling, ignore it. It was written out of utter madness. 

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God's Plans

You never know what He has in store for you.
Mevlana said, "The wound is the place where the light enters you."
Mevlana also taught us about patience. He taught us about gratitude.
The more you ponder upon the realities of what the world is like and the more you think about what the great saints have taught us, the more you realise that this world is not arbitrary. It is God everywhere. It is God in everything. It is God's plan. All of it.
And once you have God, do you really need anything else? Never.
Mevlana also taught us to "Live as if the whole universe is rigged in your favour." I think that is something that can build great faith in us. If we think God has rigged it all in our favour, what a bigger trust could we show towards Him, what bigger faith? These words of Mevlana seem to be a higher version of "God will make all right".
I wouldn't deny that God is bestowing me with wounds over and over again. But maybe, he is doing this just so that light enters me and I get closer to him.
Then I think, should I be thankful for falling and failing so many times? Should I be thankful for every wound? No wonder that it bought me closer to God, it told me how helpless I am, and how God is the only help but it has been painful. Then I wonder, has all this pain been worth it? Have I really gained enough? Have I made the best use of my wounds? Or have I after each healing of the wound forgotten to get back to God so he had to givee me newer wounds to bow before him again?
There are so many questions. And when no answers come, I decide that the best thing to do is not to put logic into everything, but to put in faith and say Thank you, God.

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